I am so upset.
I always suspected the Lauren Boebert was a feisty little wench. Last week it was reported that she was in a public theater in a I-beg-you-to-pork-me dress playing grope and giggle with her date.
That’s not what upsets me. I have been begging Angelina Jolie to cancel the restraining orders and love me, and she’s 3000 miles away! It turns out this Boebert chick spends most of her time right up the road in DC. I could have been bouncing quarters off her ass for over a year now.
I have to rethink my stalking priorities.
She was going right the way ‘round for a spanked bottom in this video. I volunteer to do that for her.