My Bucket List Item. All 50!

I'm halfway there.

I wrote this article a long time ago. Since then a few states have gone orange. Thanks, everybody. But we still have holdouts, some very strange. How am I not in Kentucky!?!?! What the hell is wrong with Indiana? We’re heavy in battle ground states!

So, do a solid for the P4B and the Free Zone. Find someone you know in a state listed below and email, DM or IM them a link to this Substack. Or even use snail mail. Tell ‘em to subscribe. It’s free and I don’t share emails. And it costs nothing to share.

Give us a hand! Throw us a line! Help a brutha! Gimme some suga! Take us there! PUSH IT REAL GOOD!

The P4B on a mission to gain subscribers in all 50 states. First let me thanks the ones where my awesome readers live right now. Delaware (I forgive you. The laptop was not your fault.). Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania (of course), Virginia, North Carolina, Georgia, Florida (Hey Dale, Tom, Mike), Alabama, Mississippi (Hi, Phil), Michigan, Indiana, Missouri, Illinois, Minnesota (Yah. Ookay, then), Texas, Kansas, Colorado, Utah, Arizona, California, Oregon, Washington and Alaska. Thanks, you guys! You let me know I don’t write for nothin’! Keep reading. Keep sharing! Love ya!

But we have work to do in those other states! And we’ve shared so much already. You should welcome the P4B into your hearts. Come. Let us reason together.

Find your state and I’ll explain why you should be a subscriber.

Maine: You guys are right across the inlet from my nephew’s house in Canada. We’re practically related!

New Hampshire: The belly button of American politics. You ARE the P4B!

Vermont: I spent a week with you at Smuggler’s Notch ten years ago. I’m your guy!

Connecticut: My Aunt Kitty had a pretty cool house there.

Maryland: I’m sorry I called you the Peoples’ Republic of Maryland. I’m sure you have a boatload of potential P4B fans on Eastern Shore and across Virginia’s hat.

South Carolina: I met the USS Thorn in Charleston before moving her to Norfolk. And my uncle was stationed at Charleston. AND HIS NAME WAS CHARLES! Our roots weren’t deep, but they were meaningful.

West Virginia: I worked in Martinsburg TWICE…for a week. You guys should have, like…statues of me there.

Ohio: You had the French and Indian War and the Wright brothers. Now you can have the P4B!

Tennessee: I poached for Uber for two weeks in Nashville. Half the rubber on my tires was left on I44 and I40 when they were unpaved for MONTHS.

Louisiana: I took my brother-in-law to his first jazz bar at 2AM in NOLA. He saw people, half naked, making out in the corner. I explained it was part of the cultural experience.

Oklahoma: I know all the words to the musical of the same name. I’m jist a girl who cain’t say no! I’m in a terrible fix!

Nebraska: I have watched several Corn Huskers games. SEVERAL.

Iowa: You guys are up there with New Hampshire on the political evolutionary scale. And I also know all the words to all the songs in the Music Man! TROUBLE with a capital T, and that rhymes with P, and that stands for POOL!

Wisconsin: Racine, Kenosha and Milwaukee…all great places where I’ve gotten into trouble while stationed in North Chicago.

South Dakota: I uh…mmm…I got nothin’.

North Dakota: Um…still nothin’. Just more Northerly.

Wyoming: I love old cowboy songs. Big LaDoux fan. (Shhh, I googled that.)

Montana: I once considered moving my residency there for tax purposes. Could we BE any closer?

New Mexico: I flew over you several times going to other places. DO NOT forsake me?

Idaho: I drove to Idaho once while working in Spokane. Surely, you must remember that fondly.

Hawaii: I was stationed there at the same time Ron White was. But I’m not half the angry, drunken load the he is. (Well…I guess that depends on the night and who I’m with.)

So there you have it. That’s all the critical reasons we should be tight as ticks, and enjoying the Political Party Pooper Play Book together.

I don’t share emails. AND IT’S FREE! So smash the subscribe button, already!

Leave insanely generous tips here:

Thanks for reading The Political Party Pooper Play Book (P4B)! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.